How to Live a Happy Married Life
A happy married life does not just happen because you said yes to it. Actually it takes effort from both husband and wife to make it work. However, with some work and a lot of understanding, it can be the most satisfying relationship of one’s lives. Following are some of the best tips to live a happy married life:
1. Never get angry at the same time: Always try to avoid to get angry both at the same time. So, at all costs avoid the blast. The more complicated the situation is the more calm is required. So, it is needed that one of the two triggers the mechanism that ensures calm both on the conflicting situation. We must convince ourselves that nothing will be done in the explosion of good. Well we all know what are the fruits of an explosion: only wreckage, death and grief. Therefore, never allow the explosion to reach.
2. Never play in the others face past mistakes: The person is always greater than its mistakes, and nobody likes to be characterized by their defects. Every time we accuse the person for their past mistakes, we are bringing them back and making it difficult for them to free. Surely this is not what we want for a loved one. It takes all the care that this does not happen in moments of discussion. At this times it is best to keep your mouth shut. The One that is quieter, the more he or she is controlled, must be quiet and let the other talk until they calm down. Not retaliate in words, but the discussion increases, and something bad can happen in terms of resentments, hurts and painful sores.
3. Making a mistake, admit it and learn to apologize: Admitting a mistake is not humiliation. A person who admits his or her mistake proves to be honest with yourself and with others. When we make mistakes we have two alternatives honestly which is, to recognize the mistake, ask for forgiveness and seek to remedy what you did wrong, in order to not repeat it. This is to be humble. By doing so, even our mistakes and falls are levers for our development and growth. When we have the courage to ask for forgiveness, overcoming our pride, almost eliminated once the reason for the conflict in the relationship, and peace returns to the hearts. It is noble to ask for forgiveness.
4. At least once a day, tell the other a kind word: Many have huge reserves of tenderness, but forget to express them aloud. Do not just love the other, we must also say this with words. Especially for women, it has almost magical effect. It is a tonic that completely changes your state of mind, mood and well being. Many men have difficulty here, some problems for education, but most because they have not realized its importance. How important are these expressions of affection that makes the other grow: “I love you”, “you are very important to me”, “your presence is important to me”; “Your words help me to live”. These are some of the words which can be said with sincerity.
5. Listen: This is especially directed to men. Women really want you to hear. We’re not saying to pay attention to what your wife is talking while you are busy watching football and not hear anything. Just listen to it. Stop what you’re doing, look at her, and listen to what she is saying. Listen carefully to be able to give her a feedback show that you understand what she’s talking about. She does not want you to solve their problems, she just wants to know that you care for her and you will help her if needed.
6. Never speak ill of your spouse or complain about it to others: Women are most often the ones that do it, but men do it often too. This can cause a lot of damage to one’s married life. Often you can think of it as “outburst”, or you can do it because others do and you want some sympathy somehow. This is especially important when it comes to their parents or other family members. Like it or not, if your spouse is not listening to what you say, it’s painful and unfair. If you are having problems in your married life then discuss it with each other, with an adviser, or both may seek advice from someone if needed, it can be the best friend of the couple, but even so, beware of what you say and how to say. Loyalty is very important and trust, once lost, can be difficult to recover.
7. Forgive: As we all know that forgiveness has a great power to make a relationship strong and everlasting. Our loved ones have the most power to hurt us, intentionally or not, and also due to the fact that we are by marriage with one another on a daily basis, and what hurts adds up quickly. If we start taking mental notes, constantly reminding each other of the things done and not done, bringing back past failures, we are not following the commandment to forgive so we can destroy our marriages. Forgiveness is not easy and not cheap. It is expensive and difficult, but if we really want to be successful, not only in our marriage, but in life, we can seek our Savior and He can help us forgive our spouses and remove the cancer of bitterness, anger and revenge.
8. Put another first: Not behind you. Not after their children. Especially not after their parents. This begins with setting aside or reduce some activities that you had much time to devote to them before they were married, such as movies, sports, spending time with friends instead of your spouse, and video games. We know it can seem difficult, but it quickly becomes second nature and is increasingly pleasant. Of course, we still enjoyed some individual activities, and it is healthy to do so. However, never put the other in the background. A little thing we do in this area is where we are sharing something tasty, we give each other the first bite, the best bite and the last bite. It’s an easy way to display your date that you care about the happiness and pleasure of it, rather than with your own.
9. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt: This can be very difficult. Your spouse is someone who loves, honors and cares more than anyone else. As such, it may also be the person who hurts you most deeply. This is natural and expected. At the same time, because of this relationship, the couple tends to paint each other with the worst colors. Assume in advance and say things like, “You got mad at me for coming home late?”, “You should be trying to hurt me”, “You did not get me well when I got home”, “I am deeply hurt.” Instead of leaving immediately for the worst, ask yourself if you would hurt your spouse do the same. Then what?
10. Spend some time alone: Many times it is easy to fall into the routine when children, friends and media become his constant companions. Turn off the TV, the computer, the cell phone. Flee from it all and reconnect to each other. We like to take a trip away together every year, even if only for a night or two.
